In a shocking yet completely unsurprising move, ESPN has officially declared the Georgia Bulldogs the 2025 College Football National Champions—months before the season even kicks off. The network cited “overwhelming evidence” that no team will come close to stopping Kirby Smart’s squad, making the actual games a mere formality.
“Why waste everyone’s time?” ESPN analyst Kirk Herbstreit said during a special broadcast titled ‘Georgia’s Inevitable Three-Peat’. “We all know how this ends. Georgia steamrolls through the SEC, dominates the playoffs, and lifts the trophy in January. At this point, playing the season is just an excuse to sell tickets.”
A Dynasty Unlike Any Other
After back-to-back national titles in 2021 and 2022, followed by a near miss in 2023 and another dominant campaign in 2024, the Bulldogs have cemented themselves as the premier program in college football. With yet another recruiting class ranked No. 1 in the nation, Georgia enters 2025 with the deepest roster in the sport, prompting ESPN to make the unprecedented decision to crown them before a single snap.
“We ran every possible simulation,” said ESPN stats expert Bill Connelly. “No matter how we adjusted the data, Georgia won every single time. In fact, the closest any team got to beating them was in an alternate universe where Kirby Smart was coaching an intramural flag football team instead.”
Other Teams React
Not surprisingly, the announcement has sparked controversy among rival programs. Alabama head coach Kalen DeBoer questioned the decision, claiming his team still has a shot. “I respect Georgia, but let’s not pretend we’re just going to hand them the trophy without playing the games,” he said. “Wait, are we really doing that? Because if so, I’d like to save my guys a lot of effort.”
Ohio State, Michigan, and USC have also voiced concerns, with some suggesting a possible “preseason playoff” to at least make it look competitive. “At the very least, let us pretend we have a chance,” Ohio State head coach Ryan Day said.
Georgia’s Response
Meanwhile, in Athens, the news was met with casual indifference. “We appreciate the honor,” Coach Kirby Smart said in a brief statement. “But we’re still going to play every game like we haven’t won anything. Also, if ESPN could go ahead and engrave our name on the 2026 trophy while they’re at it, that’d be great.”
The official College Football Playoff committee has yet to comment on ESPN’s declaration, but sources indicate that Georgia has already begun planning the parade.
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