In a groundbreaking move that has left the college football world stunned, Ohio State has announced that while they will continue playing their home games in Ohio Stadium (The Shoe), all away games for the 2025 season will be held in outer space. The decision comes as part of an effort to avoid unpredictable weather conditions and ensure a truly neutral playing environment.
“We’ve had enough of cold November games, wind, and rain ruining our perfect offensive schemes,” Ohio State head coach Ryan Day explained. “So, we’re taking things into our own hands—by leaving Earth entirely.”
A Galactic Game Plan
The Buckeyes’ space initiative, officially named Operation Scarlet Orbit, will utilize cutting-edge technology and partnerships with NASA, SpaceX, and an undisclosed group of “football-loving billionaires” to transport players, coaches, and fans to a custom-built stadium aboard an orbiting space station. The stadium, dubbed The Horseshoe 2.0, is said to have artificial gravity, state-of-the-art facilities, and even a retractable force field to keep players from drifting into deep space.
“Imagine a game without wind affecting the passing game,” said Buckeyes offensive coordinator Chip Kelly. “No bad weather, no field conditions, just pure football. It’s the future of the sport.”
Mixed Reactions from the College Football World
Reactions to the announcement have been polarizing. Michigan head coach Sherrone Moore dismissed the idea as an act of desperation. “If Ohio State spent as much time preparing for The Game as they do launching into space, maybe they wouldn’t have lost three years in a row.”
Meanwhile, SEC teams have shown interest in Ohio State’s plan, with Alabama reportedly considering hosting the 2026 National Championship on Mars.
College Football Playoff officials have yet to approve space as a sanctioned location for official games, but sources say they are “intrigued” by the idea. However, ESPN has voiced concerns over broadcasting logistics, noting that cameras may struggle to keep up with players moving in low gravity.
The Future of Space Football?
Despite the skepticism, Ohio State remains confident. “We’re always looking for an edge,” Day said. “Besides, if Michigan ever wants to beat us in space, they’ll have to figure out rocket science first.”
The Buckeyes’ first extraterrestrial matchup is set for October 2025, against Penn State, in what is now being referred to as “The Space White Out.” Buckeye fans are encouraged to start saving now—tickets are rumored to cost a minimum of $2.5 million each, not including space suit rentals.
Be the first to comment